A lot of women just don't get what men want.

They think that men want them to be a chef in the kitchen, a supermodel on his arm, and a sex kitten in the bedroom.

But they've got men ALL wrong.

You want to know what the man in your life wants?

Let me tell you.

He wants you to be happy!

But instead of being happy, we run around trying to cook him gourmet meals, keep our figure, stay up on fashion trends, and be a supportive partner ... all of which leaves us too tired to even TRY acting like Dita Von Teese in the bedroom.

We end up feeling stressed, inadequate, and frustrated with him for having such high expectations.

Except, of course, we never actually asked him what he wanted.

Or, if he told us, "I just want you to be happy," we didn't believe him.

High Expectations

Where did our high expectations of ourselves come from then, if not from men?

Women's magazines are partially to blame.  They give us all sorts of advice, from beauty tips to cooking tips, career tips to sex tips.  They cover all the bases of a modern woman.  In the process, they make us feel like we should put more effort into our beauty, cooking, career and sex lives!  After all, they seductively suggest, why settle for less?

Our dear, loving parents must also shoulder part of the responsibility.  Our mothers modeled for us what a wife and mother should be like.  If she baked every day, sewed and did crafts, and kept the house spotless, we grew up thinking that the same would be expected of us.  We may have also been fed competing ideas about being an independent career woman and also falling in love and being a stay-at-home mom.

But in the end I think most of our expectations are our own fault.  We expect ourselves to be Superwoman.  We want to provide our husband and children with all the good things we possibly can.  That's what love is about, isn't it?  Being everything to everyone?

Uh ... no.

Ask Him Right Now

Why don't you just ask your partner, right now, what he wants of you?  Ask him: "Honey, I want to be the best possible partner to you that I can be.  How can I do that?"

And if he doesn't say, "Be yourself," or "Just keep doing what you're doing," or "Just be happy," then I'll be surprised.

The reason he fell in love with you was not because he couldn't live without your cooking or your housekeeping skills or your youthful skin or your cutting-edge wardrobe.

He fell in love with you because he couldn't get enough of BEING with you.

Not being served by you.  Not being pampered by you.  Not being given everything by you.

But BEING with you.  He just loved being with you.

Isn't that a nice thought?

Make Him Happy

So make him the happiest man alive tonight by being happy when he comes home (or when you come home).  Feel great about yourself and your life, and give him a great big smile and a hug.  Who cares if you order in a pizza for dinner?  Who cares if you don't have your outfit laid out for the next day?  Who cares if your credit card bill is a little late?

What matters most is that you're happy. Not stressed out.  Not worried about the future.  Not running around like a chicken with your head cut off.

But content and happy.

Think you can do that?

It's hard, I'll admit.

Sometimes, it's much easier to do things to make your partner happy than to be happy yourself.

But try, okay?

Give yourself a break.  Take a long bath.  Sing a little song.  Remember how lucky you are, in so many ways.

A man with a happy wife is probably the happiest guy alive.