Every so often, I come across an article I want to share with the world.  The following article is one of them.

One in four women in the United States have been physically assaulted by a boyfriend or husband.  (In New Zealand, that number rises to more than 1 in 3.)

I am not surprised.  Love brings out the best in us, as well as the worst.

Given the violence we see on television and in the media, more and more young people think it's okay to physically act out their anger.  Women are praised for enacting revenge on their exes - keying his car, dumping his possession out on the street, taking scissors to his clothes.  You go, girl!  Go and get help so that you can work through those feelings in a way that helps you heal.

Processing grief, anger, and resentment is an important part of getting over any relationship.  It's okay to express your feelings.  But it's not okay to physically hurt other people (or break the law) in the process of doing so.

That's why I love this article by Erin Pavlina.

Erin understands that forgiveness is ultimately the only act that will heal you from pain, abuse, or heartbreak.

And she's had a lot to forgive: a boyfriend who took her virginity through rape and then physically and emotionally abused her, alienating her from her family and friends and convincing her she was worthless.

She stayed with him for three and a half years.

Here's her story.

The Death of My Ex-Boyfriend

March 25th, 2009 by Erin Pavlina

In past blog entries I’ve alluded to and mentioned an abusive relationship I was in during my late teen years.  Today I’m going to share the entire story of that relationship because it has reached its conclusion; that thread in my tapestry is complete.  About six weeks ago I got word from a friend that my abusive boyfriend committed suicide during a police stand-off in Portland, Oregon.  He was just 3 months shy of his 40th birthday.  I share this story because it involved quite a spiritual journey for me.  I am hoping that by sharing this story I can help others who are currently in an abusive relationship, and also help those who have been abused to learn how to forgive themselves and their abusers.  I warn you this tale is long, but it is complete.  For what it’s worth, here is my tale…

Visit Erin's website for the rest of her story...