Reina Says: Get Married, Stay Married
Although I'm no marriage expert, I've read enough and lived enough to know that love isn't all you need. You can love someone very deeply and intensely but be unable to live together or agree on things. If you want to get married and stay married, you need to start building the skills you'll need to stick together NOW. Read more... Comments (1)
Reina Says: What Getting Married is Really About
I did. I wore a white dress, raided my mother's costume jewelry, and wore a white curtain for my veil. I think every little girl fantasizes about what her wedding day will be like. Even if her groom's face is a bit fuzzy (or looks like a Ken doll), she knows that it is the one day in her life when she will be a princess and everyone in the church will stand to watch her - HER - floating gracefully down the aisle in clouds of white silk. But there comes a time when the little girl grows up and realizes that she had her wedding day all wrong. Reina Recommends: Story of an Abusive RelationshipEvery so often, I come across an article I want to share with the world. The following article is one of them.
I am not surprised. Love brings out the best in us, as well as the worst. Given the violence we see on television and in the media, more and more young people think it's okay to physically act out their anger. Women are praised for enacting revenge on their exes - keying his car, dumping his possession out on the street, taking scissors to his clothes. You go, girl! Go and get help so that you can work through those feelings in a way that helps you heal. Processing grief, anger, and resentment is an important part of getting over any relationship. It's okay to express your feelings. But it's not okay to physically hurt other people (or break the law) in the process of doing so. That's why I love this article by Erin Pavlina. Reina Says: You Can Make it Through a Divorce
The man that you exchanged wedding rings with is gone. In his place is someone you don't know anymore, someone who treats you like a stranger, someone who acts in ways that would shock the man you married. And what makes you feel even worse is that, no matter how much you hate him, no matter how much you despise who he's become... ...Deep down you still love him. It's impossible to turn love on and off like a water faucet. |
Reina Says: Don't WorryIf you asked me for just one tip that could totally transform your love life - indeed, your WHOLE life - and make you enjoy life so much more, I'd tell you two little words...
Don't worry! Don't stress! Don't get worked up about it! Chill! Release! Let it go! But you may be thinking, "Reina, it's all very well for YOU to tell me not to worry, but you don't have the kind of problems I have. I'm 38 years old with no husband in sight; what's going to happen to me if I don't find him before my biological clock stops ticking? Everyone else around me is married, and I'm the only one left. My mother is sick, and I'm stressed out caring for her, and it's affecting my work, and I worry that if I don't get a little help from the universe here, I'm going to explode!" Ten Reasons Dating is Better at 30Okay, I admit, this isn't my own advice. But dating expert Amy Waterman has certainly summed up the reasons why we should be glad about being single in our thirties.
We look at super-celebs like Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz, and all anyone can think about is, "Oh no! If they don't settle down with a man soon, they'll miss their chance at having a family." But - as women like Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore have found out - it's awfully hard to give up the freedom you have as a 30-something career girl with looks, brains, wealth, hobbies, and an active social life. It's fun being single! Reina Says: Don't Bring Sexy Back
We look for sexy outfits, sexy makeup, and sexy hairstyles. We envy sexy women like Kim Kardashian or J.Lo. We dream about being able to dance in sexy ways. But if you think you’re going to attract men by being sexy, you’re only half right. You’ll attract men who want to have sex with you. You won’t attract many men who are interested in something deeper. Reina Says: What are Your Chances of Getting Married?
If you're 35, only 1 out of 6 women your age won't have married before. And if, by chance, you reach the age of 40 without having taken the plunge, you'll have company, albeit only 1 in 7. That's the word coming from a report by the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics, based on 2002 survey data. For some of you, this information will put your mind at rest. Others of you will think, "ONLY 86% of women have married by the age of 40? But what if I'm in that unlucky 14%?!!" The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center tries to reassure us, asserting that "nearly 100% of contemporary Americans over the age of 70 [have] been married at some point in their lives." But do we really want to wait until we're 70 to find the man of our dreams? |
It's a shame that couples today cannot expect their marriage to last forever. No wonder so many live together without "putting a ring on it." They've lost their faith in the power of wedding vows to protect their love from dying.
Did you ever pretend you were a bride when you were a kid?
One in four women in the United States have been physically assaulted by a boyfriend or husband. (In New Zealand, that number rises to more than 1 in 3.)
There's nothing harder than splitting up with someone you've shared years of your life with.
DON'T WORRY.
There's an unfortunate lurking belief that you're going to be an "old maid" if you wait too long to get married.
A lot of women believe that being attractive to men means being sexy.
You have a 1 in 4 chance of still being unmarried by the age of 30.